I am not a drunk, I'm health-conscious!

Ugh, I am a sneezy, snotty, itchy mess. Claritin, take me away. Yes, I love the sunnier days (although they are a bit few and far between here in Sea-Town) and I love the flowers and birds chirping and all that, but can't God let us have ONE damn thing we enjoy that is completely, 100% without any negative side effects?

I mean think about it: Tasty Food = high calories/fat/salt/etc.; Nice Clothes = not being able to pay rent that month; Vacations = not being able to pay rent that YEAR; Sex = STDs, unwanted pregnancy, awkward morning after, and if you're Catholic, then don'tevengetmestarted.

That being said, I have high hopes for one thing: Drinking! Yes, according to a study on NPR, low-to-moderate alcohol consumption may actually make you healthier! This gives new credence to the old adage that beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Yes, the article does clarify that the study in question has no concrete proof that it is actually the alcohol that helps maintain good health, but a girl can dream, can't she? And, sure alcohol consumption can lead to numerous non-healthy activities (like consuming massive amounts of Tasty Food or having Sex - see above), but we're talking about LOW-TO-MODERATE consumption, which doesn't always inhibit one's level of judgment quite that severely.

And, okay, there's the whole Alcoholism thing. That kinda sucks. Ummm... not much to say about that.

My argument is starting to fall apart here. Let's move on.

In other news, NPR has also posted an article about the creation of the first synthetic genes to be combined with the DNA of a living cell. Joy. Reeeeeeeeeally freakin' thrilled about this one.

Now, I am all for stem cell research. I totally support gene therapy when safe and ethical for all involved. But this freaks me out. An actual quote from the scientist (a "Dr. Ventor", which sounds like the name of an evil scientist from a bad 1950's B sci-fi flick) who is responsible for this discovery: "We decided that by writing new biological software and creating new species, we could create new species to do what we want them to do, not what they evolved to do."

Yeah, 'cause, you know, who needs evolution, right?

Admittedly, I don't know much about science. I'm an actress, remember? But I DO know that Mother Nature usually has a pretty good idea of what works and what doesn't- and besides, no matter how hard we try to get around Her, She always seems to have the final say. To try and bypass evolutionary progress by creating new species screams of something straight from 28 Days Later or the new horror flick starring eyebrow-actor extraordinaire, Adrien Brody, called Splice. Or even the concept behind the grossy-gross-grossness of The Human Centipede (I'm not even gonna honor it with a link), which has nothing to do with actual genetic mutations, it's just gross and I can't seem to get the damn plot out of my over-active imagination.

Ahem.

So my issue is really that this is the kind of End of Days shit that could fall into the wrong hands and become a Weapon of Mass Destruction. Eventually. Right now, it's just some benign bacteria being grown in a lab. To give Ventor his credit, he's interested in turning this discovery into an avenue to solve the fuel crisis and create new vaccines. If that's possible without turning us all into flesh-eating zombies, then I'm all for it. Until that time, I'm a little freaked out (and I apparently need to stop watching horror flicks).

So, what to say that is positive about all of this?

1. Allergies go away when autumn arrives... until that time, I should stop and smell the roses. *achoo!*
2. 1 to 3 glasses of wine a day may be good for you... or maybe 4 or 5, if they're "small" glasses.
3. We might have found a way to solve the fuel crisis and stop diseases... if it doesn't kill us all in the interim.

Hey, as the Python Boys say, "Always look on the bright side of Life". *whistle*